My childhood dream was about to come true, and I was excited to begin this new chapter of my life. This was all I ever wanted and dreamt of, wasn't it ? I should’ve been on cloud nine. Or seven, atleast. But here I was, going through a phase of confusion and uncertainty. Something was holding me back from reveling in the moment. I started asking myself some tough questions. What if ‘knowing what to do in life from a very young age' wasn’t something to be proud of? Had I unknowingly put myself in a box and closed doors on other opportunities? Was there a passion I didn’t nurture? A calling  I ignored? 

We’ve all been here at some point in our lives, right? When we are so close to achieving something or getting what we want, and all of a sudden, we start thinking...is this it? Is this what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life? To add to the crisis, like every teenager, my right and left brain started playing tug of war.  I was torn between the desire to follow my dream and the need to pursue something mainstream that had the society’s stamp of approval. It didn't help that most of the success stories around me were of engineers,doctors and CAs. No one talked about the achievements of people in creative fields. So even pursuing architecture felt like a rebellious act. The fear of taking the road less traveled and failing — while having a proven track record of academic success made me switch gears and choose a more acceptable option. Not to flex, but a 300/300 in math (at that time) made it seem like this was my new destiny. My parents and teachers would have supported me in any endeavour, but I had made up my mind. Chartered Accountancy it was! 

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I was excited to embark on the new path of Chartered Accountancy and learn all about corporate laws, strategic financial management, and all that fun stuff. I burned the midnight oil and gave CA my 110% - missing movie nights, family get-togethers and catch-ups with friends. Around the same time, I was interning in a small firm where I got the full picture of what it meant to be a CA for LIFE. Turns out, being good with numbers wasn’t enough. I had to stay abreast with policy changes, current affairs and its impact on taxes and the economy — not to mention, financial planning, filing taxes, auditing and so on….I can’t even recall anymore. 

 

With each passing day, it was becoming more evident that being "interested" in something and being "passionate" are two completely different things. I knew in that moment that I wasn’t passionate enough to continue doing it for the rest of my life. It took me a lot of courage to say it out loud that this isn't my cup of tea. I wondered...what’s the worst that can happen if I quit? I would have no idea what would happen next. I would be left without a plan again. I’d have to start over from scratch. And of course, I’d have to deal with ‘societal pressures.’

 

I was done worrying. I shelved all my books and ventured on a quest to identify something that would spark my creativity. And in this pursuit, by keeping an open mind, I explored literally everything from make up to starting a YouTube channel which broadened my horizons and perspective. That’s when I came across an Ad in the newspaper about a Diploma course in Yoga. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head.

 

By now, I'm sure you're wondering if this is the part of my story where the stars align and I finally find my dream job.  

 

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. The diploma course introduced me to yoga as an activity for a healthy lifestyle. But I did not feel inspired to pursue it professionally. However, I still wanted to put my newly acquired skills to good use. So I started teaching yoga to underprivileged kids. That's when I realized that yoga was more than just an 'exercise.' To these kids, it was a pocket of sunshine, a breath of fresh air. To know that I, as a teacher, could make a tiny difference to their life was both humbling and empowering. 

 

This is when I decided that I wanted people from all walks of life to experience the power of yoga. But before I took the plunge, I wanted to be a 100 % sure this was 'IT.' I decided to give it time and see if this was just a fleeting interest or a real passion. Finally, my logical brain and creative brain were working together to come up with a way to make this work! I was going to take up a full-time job and do yoga as a side gig. This way, I could earn a living and be independent while nurturing my passion. 

 

So here I was again. A BCom graduate with a background in yoga, makeup, accounting and architecture. That would make a great resume bio, wouldn't it? 

 

I attended countless walk-in interviews where job seekers like me queued up outside MNCs hoping their name would be called. Fun fact: I even failed an Amazon typing test because I wasn't fast enough. After a lot of struggle, I landed my first job as a tax analyst in Deloitte, where I spent the next 5 years of my life and made some of my fondest memories.

 

Working for Deloitte was a lot of fun. As nerdy as it sounds, I loved crunching numbers and doing international taxes. I'd pull off 12-hour days while learning German and working towards an MBA. But somewhere along the way, my health took a backseat. Subsumed in the corporate world, I wasn’t investing time in yoga like I intended to. An erratic work schedule and sedentary lifestyle meant that I was constantly tired, low on energy and sleeping poorly – if at all. I put on 11 kgs that year. 

 

I was determined to revive myself and this time sought professional help to not only keep me motivated, but also direct me onto a path for future. That's when Amma insisted me to try couple of classes with @vikas.panchayoga. My family had been learning from him for years and were confident he'd be able to guide me. Vikas sir helped me reconnect with myself both on and off the mat and see yoga in a new light. Before I knew it, yoga became the most important part of my day and soon... my life. 

 

I was also lucky to have a boss who understood my passion and let me take time off from work to go to @indeayogaofficial and learn from @being.bharath sir. This experience changed me in ways I can't even explain. From this point on, I juggled yoga classes and my full-time job for 2+ years. On some days, I'd work until midnight and wake up at 4 a.m. to practice, teach and then rush to work. Being late was never an option. I could see myself connecting with people and the more I inspired, the less I felt the need to rely on a corporate job. This was the transition I was longing for- where my work meets my passion. 

 

Today, as I sit in my studio typing my story...I know that no other feeling in the world matches to how I felt about empowering people on the mat. Seeing my students conquer their fears and become better versions of themselves through yoga, gives my life, a purpose. Every students breakthrough means the world to me.

 

I don't know if I found yoga or yoga found me, but after all this time I know it in my bones that this is what I want to do and who I want to be.

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